MoFi: Answers

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(After J G Ballard's "Answers to a Questionnaire" 1985, in e.g. War Fever)

QUESTIONS NOT SUPPLIED

1. Yes.
2. 1,436.
3. 4 years ago.
4. In a chatroom on the site www.adultsecrets.com.
5. She initially said that she was a 17 year-old call girl called "Trixical".
6. In a bar in Hradcany, Prague.
7. No.
8. With my best friend Rufus and my Mother.
9. One gram of methamphetamine, which we shared between us.
10. In a sense - it was by video link to his offices in Melbourne, Australia.
11. That they had set up an information gathering algorithm along the lines of MeFi.
12. Memberships were cheaper!
13. 4 months.
14. By analysing the relative frequency of the letter "p" in each and all comments, it was possible to precisely model the political inclinations of the Swedish electorate and predict fluctuations in the major stock markets of the Western nations.
15. Actually, it became increasingly obvious that all users fell into one of three categories: Venusians, "chatbots" or GOP members.
16. We were eventually approached by certain organisations interested in our data.
17. Bill Gates and Al Gore.
18. $10,000,000.
19. No.
20. They were also Venusians.
21. I woke the next day in a hole in my backyard, wearing only a wedding dress.
22. We decided to influence members' psycho-normative equilibrium by the subtle propogation of "trigger phrases".
23. "Cockpunch".
24. Badly.
25. We encountered a problem with the pete_best chatbot.
26. It began replicating wildly and invaded various other programs.
27. Actually: yes.
28. It led us to isolate various preparations of Venusian DNA.
29. Over a period of about 7 weeks.
30. We formed the First Cabal.
31. Their real names?
32. Trey Sycall, Gustav van Wolofstein and Leonard al-Haj.
33. Maybe 12 people in total.
34. By photographic evidence of violation of the incest taboo.
35. Six months later.
36. That she was simultaneously the 10th and 11th incarnations of the Hindu god Vishnu.
37. Turkmenbashi.
38. They were also Venusians.
39. We all got drunk together.
40. Yeah, well - that's what everyone says.
41. And your mother, too. No, really. Your mother.
42. 42
43. Werner Herzog and sometimes Chuck Norris.