Owl semen

From MonkeyFilter Wiki

The incredible medicinal, chemical, psychedelic and odour-reducing properties of owl semen have been rightly recognised for long centuries by those with uncommon wisdom and those that regularly masturbate owls.

MoFi's own bernockle is, in particular, an enthusiastic devotee of the many uses of owl semen in all aspects of his daily life - be it for daily skin moisturisation; to treat eczema; to erase forehead tatoos or to clean glassware.

There are two schools of thought on why bernockle is always going on about bird jizz: the first is that bernockle is in fact an owl in desperate need of a hand-job, the second is that bernockle is a completely insane freakazoid in desperate need of a hand-job. Only years of diligent study by scientists and three bottles of owl semen will reveal which of these theories is correct.