User:Bone/Passion

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Top Seven Changes Made For The Passion:Recut (The 2005 Re-release of Mel Gibson's The Passion of Mad Max The Christ)

1. "Bad" Jews are all digitally replaced with Harvey Fierstein.

2. In an attempt to capitalize on South Park's notoriety, Gibson retitles the film The Passion: Bigger, Longer, Recut.

3. The Jews still speak Aramaic in the film, but the Romans now speak "pig Latin."

4. Gibson hires Michael Cretu of Enigma to score the film, feeling that a soundtrack featuring trance music and Gregorian chant would give the "Last Supper" scene additional gravitas.

5. Pontius Pilate's chambers are now called the Thunderdome. "Two men enter, one Savior leaves."

6. One scene where Jesus is scourged remains, but now as the centurions flog him they say "Quis est pater tuus" (which roughly translates into English as "Who's your daddy?"). Test audiences were unfavorably disposed to Jesus' responding "Jehovah!" each time the question was asked, so Mr. Caviezal's lines were edited out prior to the full theatrical rerelease.

7. The music under the closing credits is now "Always Look On the Bright Side of Life."

(My brother, a funny guy indeed, sent me the following email upon reading this):

Hey, what if the film were to end with Simple Minds' timeless "Don't You Forget About Me?" After their day-long "detention" at Mt. Calvary High, the music would fade in as Anthony Michael Hall narrates his letter to Pilate: "Signed...a nerd, a princess, a jock, a basket case, and the son of God." Jim Caviezal as Christ pumps his fist in the air as the chorus kicks in.