User:Bone/Pulp

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Inspired by this comment, I present to you by no popular demand...

Top Five Exchanges from Quentin Tarantino's Star Wars

Lando: You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese on Alderaan?
Han: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?
Lando: No man, they got the metric system. Plus, they all got blown up by the Death Star. They wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is.

Han: You remember Antoine Roccamora, half black, half Hutt, used to call him Jabba?
Lando: Yeah, maybe. Fat, right?
Han: I wouldn't go so far as to call him fat, I mean he's got a weight problem. What's the brother gonna do? He's a Hutt.

Boba Fett: Describe what Jabba looks like!
Greedo: What, I-?
Boba Fett: [pointing his gun] Say "what" again. SAY "WHAT" AGAIN! I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker! Say "what" one more goddamn time!
Greedo: He's g-g-green...
Boba Fett: Go on.
Greedo: He's bald...
Boba Fett: Does he look like a bitch?
Greedo: What?
Boba Fett shoots Greedo in the shoulder
Boba Fett: DOES JABBA LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
Greedo: No!
Boba Fett: Then why you try to fuck him like a bitch, Greedo?
Greedo: I didn't!
Boba Fett: Yes you did. Yes you did, Greedo. You tried to fuck him. And Jabba the Hutt don't like to be fucked by anybody, except for Princess Leia when she's wearing the "slave" outfit.

Emperor Palpatine: Bring out Darth Gimp.
Grand Moff Tarkin: I think Darth Gimp's sleepin'.
Palpatine : Well, I guess you'll just have to go wake him up now, won't you?

Obi-Wan Kenobi [in his first scene with Luke]: He'd be damned if any slopes were gonna put their greasy yella hands on his boy's birthright. So Anakin hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ass. Five long years, he wore this lightsaber up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the lightsaber. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the lightsaber to you.