Werzog, The

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1 The Werzog

The Werzog

What we know about the Werzog

The Werzog prepares to deflect a flare from his stony cranium.

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The Werzog is unaffected by gunfire:

The Werzog's unremitting omnipotence is a constant issue of discussion for the MoFi community. Many monkeys have eloquated on his superhuman prowess. This thread exposes most of the Werzog's ability with incontrovertable evidence of his invulnerability.

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The Werzog can eat shoes:

The Werzog made a bet with up and coming director Errol Morris that, if Morris made a film, the Werzog would eat his own shoe. When Morris made the film 'Gates of Heaven' the Werzog turned on the stove and broke out the Dr Scholl's. And then he filmed himself eating it.

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What some monkeys have said about the Werzog:

He ain't got time to bleed.
- posted by DangerIsMyMiddleName at 11:36PM UTC on February 05, 2006

Maybe it was the Herzog that made him so tough, rather than the Werner.
- posted by drivingmenuts at 3:23AM UTC on February 06, 2006

Takes bullets, eats shoes, this guy is a mensh.
- posted by BearGuy at 04:21AM UTC on February 06, 2006

Werner Herzog's arms turn into metal tigers when he becomes disgruntled.
- posted by flashboy at 04:49PM UTC on February 06, 2006

I heard he killed a man with a guitar string...
- posted by TenaciousPettle at 02:47PM UTC on February 06, 2006

I heard that Werner Herzog went to a restaurant and ate all the food in the restaurant and then they had to close the restaurant.
- posted by Koko at 04:30PM UTC on February 06, 2006

"Jure Robic" is actually Werner Herzog riding under a pseudonym.
- posted by the_bone at 04:48AM UTC on February 09, 2006

If he goes outside with his shirt off for too long, the sun gets a Werner Herzogburn.
- posted by middleclasstool at 11:06PM UTC on February 06, 2006

Jure Robic once dragged Werner Herzog behind his bicycle for 50 miles... while Herzog drank his coffee and read the morning paper
- posted by The Underpants Monster at 01:18PM UTC on February 09, 2006
- amended by Koko at 02:07PM UTC on February 09, 2006

I suppose the said ball of earwax was eaten by Warzog and then pooped by Robic sheathed in titanium. Will you boyz give it up already?
- posted by BlueHorse at 05:25PM UTC on February 09, 2006

This list is by no means exhaustive, or even representative of monkeys' views of the Werzog.

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What we don't know about the Werzog

Scholars have long debated the contentious birth of the Werzog. One school of thought theorizes the Werzog was born of man, hence the handle Werner Herzog. However, today more monkeys are finding this hypothesis to be riddled with holes. New theories in the existence of the Werzog lean toward the Werzog being born of some divine union of rocks and razorblades. What the truth is, only the Werzog knows.

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